Four Nerds

Dweebs, Spazoids, and Geeks! Lend me your ears!

I've been reading a lot of comments on the web about the upcoming War of the Worlds movie. Everyone seems to come out of the woodwork in order to profess how much this will suck, how much it will rock, or that the director should be hanged for not being faithful to the original source material. This seems to happen every time there's a new Sci Fi flick out. Nobody gets passionate about movies quite like a Sci Fi geek.

Let's set aside the idiocy of saying a movie sucks before it's even been released and go straight to the heart of the subject. Because this is based on a novel, people have naturally been bitching about the fact that it's not faithful to the original. The prevailing sentiment amongst my fellow dweebs is that Spielberg is an abomination because he A) didn't set it in 1898, and B) did not set it in England.

It's comments this stupid that make me ashamed of being a geek.

First of all, it doesn't matter where they stage it. It could be England, France, Iowa, or Outer Mongolia. The Martians invade the whole planet, not just England. That's why H.G. Wells called it War of the Worlds.

Wells put it in England mainly because he was English. I think he probably had a lot of fun trashing the parts of England that he didn't like. Also, in Wells' time, England was the most powerful nation on Earth. The point of the story was that even the mightiest on nations could not stand up to the Martians.

Now, we have a new War of the Worlds. It's 2005 and the most powerful nation is the US. The director of the film is an American, as is the star. So, where do you suppose their gonna set it? I'm thinking East Timor.

Secondly, watching Martians trash a Victorian Era military isn't that impressive, considering the modern military could do the job just as easily. "Ooh, those guys on horses are no match for that Martian Walker. Ooh, the thrills!" Give me a break. Who the hell wants to see the Martians do what the First Armored Division could do just as easily?

Guess what, my little dweeboids. There is never going to be an adaptation of anything that will make you happy. It's never gonna happen, so suck it up and shut the fuck up. Honestly, you'll bitch about anything. If you want your perfect War of the Worlds, I have good news. It's in public domain, so anyone can make a movie based on it. So go make your own damn movie.