Wednesday, May 31, 2006

 

X-Men: The Last Stand?

OK I have had time to decompress from the last X-Men and I have to say "It ain't that bad." I warn - spoilers lie ahead.

The storyline is actually a pick and choose from some old favorites over the past thirty years, melding Mr. Claremont's masterful "Dark Phoenix Saga" with a dash of the equally brilliant but too new to be revered mutant cure story by Grant Morrison.

From the dark Phoenix perspective purists will be sorely disappointed as it is simply protrayed as a dark manifestation of Jean Grey's personality. All of that creator and destroyer of the universe perpetually hunted by the Shi'ar empire is left in the anals of geekdom.

The mutant cure story also deviates from the comic, but it is done tastfully.

Mutants die. Now we all no that Jean Grey dies and resurrects herself more often than Liza Minelli's career, but a few other mutants that generally keep their pulse bite the dust (literally) in this film as well. Which despite my love of the comic book I'm OK with.

They are trying to end the saga, so the deaths were fitting and I have to say a bit sad. Not sad in that they died , but they finally introduced some new charachters taht I would actually like to see again.

Kelsey Grammer did a bang up job as The Beast. i actually would have liked to have seen more of him. I have to concur with our phanton Nerd that Angel was under utilized and was there to show us how smooth CG man flight has become.

All in all it was an entertaining two hours. I'm not thrilled with how tehy left the storyline open. Bringing in Moira McTaggert and her body hopping son was clever, but fully flushed out.

I'm guessing now that the movie broke every record in the book tehy may have to lean on that crutch a little more than thought.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

 

Destroy All Humans!

Well, I picked up a copy of Destroy All Humans! yesterday. I tell you, the first time I picked up a cow with my brain and threw it against a tractor, I was hooked. It's just fun, plain and simple. There's something truly enjoyable and cathartic about wiping out humanity. Good times.

The main character is a little grey man ("I'm not green, damnit!") named Crypto. He's on a one-man, er, make that a one-thing mission to rescue his clone (who crash-landed in Roswell, no less) and complete his mission to harvest humanity's brainstems in order to refill the dwindling DNA stocks at the cloning houses back home.

You get to zap, death-ray, abduct, mutilate and anal probe (yes, you get to anal probe) your way across the US at the dawn of the space age. With your staggering mental powers you can read minds, levitate objects (and, of course, cows), hypnotize people to do your bidding, and even make people's heads explode.

This is essentially Mars Attacks! from the alien perspective, and frankly, those hairless apes on Planet Earth are due for a good probing!

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

 

The Madness of Leonard, Part 6

Last night, I decided I wanted to rent a movie. Having just seen Elizabeth I on HBO, I was on a British monarch kick and went to rent The Madness of King George. I hadn't seen it yet, but I had heard many a great thing about it.

I went down to the local Bloodblister Video. I wasn't sure whether it was in comedy or drama. I checked drama. It wasn't there. I checked comedy. Not there either. I thought maybe they shelved it under "King George" so I checked the K's in comedy and drama. Not there.

Normally, I would have just asked, but the place was crowded, which was strange for a sunny Monday night in May, and I decided to not wait in line to see if they had it. The shelves were all out of order, so I looked up and down the areas between "K" and "M." Still no luck. Finally, the line cleared and asked the girl behind the counter. She had never heard of it and I had to repeat the name. She told me that they didn't carry it.

Having spent some time managing my own video store in the past, I understand not having a title. Things break, people don't return things, they get lost. You get a title when it comes out on video, hang on to a few copies after it leaves the New Releases, and sell off the rest. If they break or are lost, often they aren't replaced.

However, Bloodblister is slightly different, at least in my neighborhood. You see, they have been phasing out their VHS stock for a while now. In this particular store, you can't rent any VHS tapes at all. So, pretty much any movie made before 1998 had to be re-ordered on DVD specifically to fill their catalog (non-new release) shelves.

I don't expect them to carry every movie. I also don't expect them to carry every Oscar-nominated movie (King George had 4 nominations and 1 win). However, I do expect them to exercise some common sense. While looking at the titles between K and M on the comedy shelf, I saw they had a copy of Leonard, Part 6. This was shocking to me. This wasn't a holdover from back in the day when it was a new release. No, someone in the Bloodblister hierarchy thought that this was a good title to put on their shelves. They went out of their way to re-order the damn thing on DVD for their stores.

I don't want to come off as being snobby here. "Oh, they didn't have my snooty British monarchy drama, but they had Leonard, Part 6. However shall I go on?" Nothing like that. It's just that it was Leonard, Part 6. LEONARD, PART 6!

If I was looking for, say, The Magnificent Seven or The Great Escape, but only found Leonard, Part 6, I would still be ticked.

Friday, May 19, 2006

 

Foglematrix Smells Like Taint

I've decided to taunt Foglematrix until he acknowledges our existence again.

Friday, May 05, 2006

 

It's About Damn Time! (2nd edition)

Get ready to have a geek fit, true believers. I read this article this morning:

Original 'Star Wars' Movies Coming to DVD -- At Last

Responding to legions of fans, Lucasfilm and 20th Century Fox Home Entertainment have agreed to release the original versions of the first three Star Wars movies, unmodified by digital enhancements, on Sept. 12. Each of the films, Star Wars (1977), The Empire Strikes Back (1980), and Return of the Jedi (1983) will be released separately and will be accompanied by a second disc offering the digitally reedited version produced in 2004. They will be withdrawn from circulation on Dec. 31. A promo for the new releases states: "See the title crawl to Star Wars before it was known as Episode IV; see the pioneering, if dated, motion-control model work on the attack on the Death Star; groove to Lapti Nek or the Ewok Celebration song like you did when you were a kid; and, yes, see Hans Solo shoot first."

Can I get a "Hell Yeah!?!"

Monday, May 01, 2006

 

Fuckwit Marketing

There are times I cringe in disbelief at my chosen profession. The calvacade of retards and halfwits that claim to be marketers boggles my mind and deeply saddens what is left of my heart.

For proof of the fact that marketing will bbring Western civilization to its knees we need to look no further than our own comments log here on Four Nerds. Last week Capt. Spaulding posted a lovely homage to the horny British prankster Benny Hill (for you kids out there, Benny Hill was the only way to see ladies wearing thigh hight stockings in the 80's before thighhighstockings.com). Instead of insightful thoughts about Benny's wacky music, here are the comments he received:
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big-cock-suckers said...
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jada57abby said...
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At first, when "marketers" flooded the blogosphere they at least made thinly veiled attempts at relating their marketing messgae to the topic of the post to which they were responding.

As we see however time passes and the asstards have stopped trying.

 

Fuckwit Marketing

There are times I cringe in disbelief at my chosen profession. The calvacade of retards and halfwits that claim to be marketers boggles my mind and deeply saddens what is left of my heart.

For proof of the fact that marketing will bbring Western civilization to its knees we need to look no further than our own comments log here on Four Nerds. Last week Capt. Spaulding posted a lovely homage to the horny British prankster Benny Hill (for you kids out there, Benny Hill was the only way to see ladies wearing thigh hight stockings in the 80's before thighhighstockings.com). Instead of insightful thoughts about Benny's wacky music, here are the comments he received:
========================
massive-cock-anal said...
See the best uncensored pictures and movies gallery
4/25/2006 1:23 PM
========================
18-inch-cock said...
See the best uncensored pictures and movies gallery
4/25/2006 7:14 PM
========================
first-big-cock said...
See the best uncensored pictures and movies gallery
4/26/2006 1:03 AM
========================
big-cock-suckers said...
See the best uncensored pictures and movies gallery
4/26/2006 3:55 AM
========================
jada57abby said...
Are you stuck in a job that is leading you on the path to no where?
We can help you obtain a College Degree with classes, books, and exams
Get a Genuine College Degree in 2 Weeks!
Well now you can get them!

Call this number now 24 hours a day 7 days a week (413) 208-3069

Get these Degrees NOW!!!

BA, BSc, MA, MSc, MBA, PHD,

Within 2 weeks!
No Study Required!
100% Verifiable
========================
Call this number now 24 hours a day 7 days a week (413) 208-3069

These are real, genuine, They are verifiable and student records and
transcripts are also available. This little known secret has been
kept quiet for years. The opportunity exists due to a legal loophole
allowing some established colleges to award degrees at their discretion.

With all of the attention that this news has been generating, I wouldn't
be surprised to see this loophole closed very soon.

Get yours now, you will thank me later!
Call this number now (413) 208-3069
We accept calls 24 hours a day 7 days a week.
========================

At first, when "marketers" flooded the blogosphere they at least made thinly veiled attempts at relating their marketing messgae to the topic of the post to which they were responding.

As we see however time passes and the asstards have stopped trying.