Monday, August 01, 2005
Graphics...check - Gameplay...check - Voices...Fuck It!
On the recommendation of my esteemed colleague Dr. Spaulding I went out and purchased the bargain bin gem Spider-Man 2. I LOVE IT!!!!.
Fogle has been listening to me complain for months about the fact that I have a huge void in my gaming life since quitting Everquest 2. I have been filling this void with a variety of games that have entertained me for 5 minutes and then left me wanting for more. Very similar to my experience with my first HS girlfriend. Anyway, Spidey is certainly all that and a bag of chips as all the kids say these days. With one problem. And this isn't a problem solely with Spidey, it's all video games. THE VOICE ACTING IS HORRIBLE!!!!!!
Read the above header again. Pay attention to the punctuation. Because that is exactly how video game dialogue is delivered. Being an active member of community theater, I'm privy to a slew of shity acting. Someone who emphasizes all the wrong words or parts of a word for dramatic effect is a community theater actor through and through. Video Game actors are guilty of the same sin. Which leads me to the conclusion that all video game voice actors are pulled directly from the Summerhouse Players production of "My Fair Lady" or "Hair".
Spidey as a game was going in a great direction. Toby McGuire did the Spidey dialogue, Bruce Campbell acts as your smart-ass smarmy narrator and then came the first cut scene with Mary Jane Watson and as the first syllable passed through her tiny teeth I was immediately ripped from the game environment and reminded of teh fact I was a 30 year old man controlling a man spider on the TV. For one second we'll look past the fact that the person they got to play Mary Jane sounded nothing like her. This is remotely forgivable since it isn't too far off the mark. But once again, someone forgot to ask this "actor" if she had basic reading comprehension skills. I guess Ms. dunst was too busy making that awful tennis movie.
As bad as Mary Jane is the other elements of the spidey game let you easily forget this faux pas. A series of games that go past the point of redemption are the Harry Potter titles. Now, I love Harry Potter; the books, the movies, hell I've even contemplated buying one of those replica wands. But the one thing I was going to avoid like a Family Ties reunion (simply because I don't ever want to see Brian Bonsall work again) were the video game titles. I knew they were developed for kids and as such I realized the challenges would be...unchallenging.
However, Mrs. Cheese isn't as critical as I am and will allow no piece of Potter to sit on a store shelf. So when the PoA game came out we were first in line to buy it. As expected the puzzles were easy, the cut scenes weren't as visually stunning as the actual movie and the voice acting was horrendous. I take that back Ron and Harry were awful. Hermione however sounded like she was 45 and smoked three packs a day. Did they even do a sound test to try and make it close?
What do you guys think?
Fogle has been listening to me complain for months about the fact that I have a huge void in my gaming life since quitting Everquest 2. I have been filling this void with a variety of games that have entertained me for 5 minutes and then left me wanting for more. Very similar to my experience with my first HS girlfriend. Anyway, Spidey is certainly all that and a bag of chips as all the kids say these days. With one problem. And this isn't a problem solely with Spidey, it's all video games. THE VOICE ACTING IS HORRIBLE!!!!!!
WHY! GOD? WHY.
Read the above header again. Pay attention to the punctuation. Because that is exactly how video game dialogue is delivered. Being an active member of community theater, I'm privy to a slew of shity acting. Someone who emphasizes all the wrong words or parts of a word for dramatic effect is a community theater actor through and through. Video Game actors are guilty of the same sin. Which leads me to the conclusion that all video game voice actors are pulled directly from the Summerhouse Players production of "My Fair Lady" or "Hair".
Spidey as a game was going in a great direction. Toby McGuire did the Spidey dialogue, Bruce Campbell acts as your smart-ass smarmy narrator and then came the first cut scene with Mary Jane Watson and as the first syllable passed through her tiny teeth I was immediately ripped from the game environment and reminded of teh fact I was a 30 year old man controlling a man spider on the TV. For one second we'll look past the fact that the person they got to play Mary Jane sounded nothing like her. This is remotely forgivable since it isn't too far off the mark. But once again, someone forgot to ask this "actor" if she had basic reading comprehension skills. I guess Ms. dunst was too busy making that awful tennis movie.
When Did Hermione Have the spell Tracheometry Holus Cast on Her?
As bad as Mary Jane is the other elements of the spidey game let you easily forget this faux pas. A series of games that go past the point of redemption are the Harry Potter titles. Now, I love Harry Potter; the books, the movies, hell I've even contemplated buying one of those replica wands. But the one thing I was going to avoid like a Family Ties reunion (simply because I don't ever want to see Brian Bonsall work again) were the video game titles. I knew they were developed for kids and as such I realized the challenges would be...unchallenging.
However, Mrs. Cheese isn't as critical as I am and will allow no piece of Potter to sit on a store shelf. So when the PoA game came out we were first in line to buy it. As expected the puzzles were easy, the cut scenes weren't as visually stunning as the actual movie and the voice acting was horrendous. I take that back Ron and Harry were awful. Hermione however sounded like she was 45 and smoked three packs a day. Did they even do a sound test to try and make it close?
What do you guys think?
Comments:
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Well, I don't know about the voice acting, but most voice talents aren't used for dramatic work. They're used for commercials, training, and that sort of a thing. I mean, these are people whose job it is to get excited over floor polish like it just cured cancer. Maybe their acting abillities have been skewed.
Nay, nay. I've done a slew of voice over work. Acting is acting.
I think they are giving the actors the copy five minutes before they record and the director is asleep at the board.
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I think they are giving the actors the copy five minutes before they record and the director is asleep at the board.
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