Monday, January 23, 2006
Kids and Their Crazy Phrasiology
Sorry for the sickeningly sweet Cosby like into to this post (what the hell happened to those specials that he used to do? When did kids stop being cute and no longer worthy of inane interviews from the Cos?)
Anyway. my brother-in-law recently wrote this phrase in an e-mail: " So sleep easy, for you will be limping in style with your tainted-up wounded paw".
Now because I'm a dick I wrote an unnecessarily long rely back to him. Fucker (and I say that most lovingly) dared me to put it on a website. Seeing as this is the only website within my realm of power that will allow me to say taint repeatedly through out the text without getting fired you get to read my reply:
Uhmm how does one exactly taint-up a paw, or for that matter any body part? One would have to carefully remove the taint (and I don't even want to begin to contemplate the mess that was once your groinassal region) and then find a way to stretch the taint so it could cover the part of the body you want to "taint-up". Because honestly unless you stretch the taint all you have is a small sliver of skin. Except for that thing under the bridge you dated from New Jersey. She walked right in and said "I'm Whorecubus, bearer of grossly large taint".
No taint-up and taint stretching technology is sweeping the nation. I heard MTV has "Taint my Ride" under development right now.
Fuck Man - You are sick medieval taint stretcher
Love
Your Sister
Anyway. my brother-in-law recently wrote this phrase in an e-mail: " So sleep easy, for you will be limping in style with your tainted-up wounded paw".
Now because I'm a dick I wrote an unnecessarily long rely back to him. Fucker (and I say that most lovingly) dared me to put it on a website. Seeing as this is the only website within my realm of power that will allow me to say taint repeatedly through out the text without getting fired you get to read my reply:
Uhmm how does one exactly taint-up a paw, or for that matter any body part? One would have to carefully remove the taint (and I don't even want to begin to contemplate the mess that was once your groinassal region) and then find a way to stretch the taint so it could cover the part of the body you want to "taint-up". Because honestly unless you stretch the taint all you have is a small sliver of skin. Except for that thing under the bridge you dated from New Jersey. She walked right in and said "I'm Whorecubus, bearer of grossly large taint".
No taint-up and taint stretching technology is sweeping the nation. I heard MTV has "Taint my Ride" under development right now.
Fuck Man - You are sick medieval taint stretcher
Love
Your Sister
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You know, I never get tired of taint humor. On the Daily Show the other day they were reporting on the whole Tom Delay thing, they showed a clip of some Beltway idiot at a press conference. He talked about, well, you can watch the clip at Comedy Central.
I had to turn the TV off because I needed air from laughing so hard.
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I had to turn the TV off because I needed air from laughing so hard.
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