Thursday, March 02, 2006
Offshoring a Ca"ta-ta"strophe -- India Needs America
I'm certainly not blazing a headline trail by calling out the inherent problems with offshoring American jobs to foreign interests.
Nor will I receive the Pulitzer in the category of Blogging for mentioning the fact that we did this in part to ourselves through a decade of sloth and laziness that resulted in the U.S. having less “science-minded” folks than the rest of the world.
No, my mark on the blogosphere – blogoverse – this page – the minds of the two other guys, occasional stalker and Jesus (Yes, Jesus reads FourNerds, we have proof because he, ghost, white dove left a comment once) will be with this singular statement, “India needs to start offshoring their communication activities to the U.S.
A colleague at work asked me to help him get a site off the ground. It’s basically a real estate venture with a twist. So I went out to a few different job posting boards to get some quotes on site development to ascertain whether they had the skills to get the site done.
What I got back was a litany of butchered English and turns of phrases that could only be concocted by someone who doesn’t really know the language trying to formerly write the language.
My colleague and I decided right off the bat since we would be doing most of this work virtually with the developer it was imperative that we build a good rapport and have a clear open line of communication with whoever we decide to work with. So we knew right away we wanted someone in the States. Even though it would cost us more initially we would save ourselves a great deal of frustration in the long run.
This was one of the first forced greetings I received when I went in to check out my account and see who was vying for this particular project. Here are some others that followed:
Real Estate Practiced Professional
Web Interest Individual
Esteemed Project Implementer
Uhmmm, what about Hi? Also, “greetings” works quite well. In a pinch you could even rely on Dear Sir or Madam. This is not a Bollywood movie script, despite the fact you are oozing with respect, calling me “Esteemed Project Implementer” screams that you are writing from a faraway land.
After about the 47th submission I was able to yea or nay a developer simply from the greeting. Some however were smart enough to take my suggestion and just open with a standard greeting, unfortunately as soon as I started reading the rest of their reply they hung themselves.
“Your project is of utmost importance in our estimation” – Well I’m glad you guys are that committed, because one of us should be. I have about twenty other things in my life that take precedence over this. And I hope it’s your estimation because it’s not nice to speak for other people – unless they are geishas
Time is of the essence in us meeting – What? This one just reminded me of a Uganda money laundering scam. No, we actually have a lot of time. Chill out.
And the list goes on.
]
I am as of this day offering my services to any offshore agency that wants to sound “American” so they can at least get through the front-door on these projects.
E-mail me at rancidgovtcheese@yahoo.com with the subject “Communication Help”. I have close to ten years of experience in corporate communications and frankly guys, I couldn’t do any worse.
Nor will I receive the Pulitzer in the category of Blogging for mentioning the fact that we did this in part to ourselves through a decade of sloth and laziness that resulted in the U.S. having less “science-minded” folks than the rest of the world.
No, my mark on the blogosphere – blogoverse – this page – the minds of the two other guys, occasional stalker and Jesus (Yes, Jesus reads FourNerds, we have proof because he, ghost, white dove left a comment once) will be with this singular statement, “India needs to start offshoring their communication activities to the U.S.
A Brief History
A colleague at work asked me to help him get a site off the ground. It’s basically a real estate venture with a twist. So I went out to a few different job posting boards to get some quotes on site development to ascertain whether they had the skills to get the site done.
What I got back was a litany of butchered English and turns of phrases that could only be concocted by someone who doesn’t really know the language trying to formerly write the language.
My colleague and I decided right off the bat since we would be doing most of this work virtually with the developer it was imperative that we build a good rapport and have a clear open line of communication with whoever we decide to work with. So we knew right away we wanted someone in the States. Even though it would cost us more initially we would save ourselves a great deal of frustration in the long run.
Most Humbled Sir – Gracious I am
This was one of the first forced greetings I received when I went in to check out my account and see who was vying for this particular project. Here are some others that followed:
Real Estate Practiced Professional
Web Interest Individual
Esteemed Project Implementer
Uhmmm, what about Hi? Also, “greetings” works quite well. In a pinch you could even rely on Dear Sir or Madam. This is not a Bollywood movie script, despite the fact you are oozing with respect, calling me “Esteemed Project Implementer” screams that you are writing from a faraway land.
After about the 47th submission I was able to yea or nay a developer simply from the greeting. Some however were smart enough to take my suggestion and just open with a standard greeting, unfortunately as soon as I started reading the rest of their reply they hung themselves.
“Your project is of utmost importance in our estimation” – Well I’m glad you guys are that committed, because one of us should be. I have about twenty other things in my life that take precedence over this. And I hope it’s your estimation because it’s not nice to speak for other people – unless they are geishas
Time is of the essence in us meeting – What? This one just reminded me of a Uganda money laundering scam. No, we actually have a lot of time. Chill out.
And the list goes on.
]
I am as of this day offering my services to any offshore agency that wants to sound “American” so they can at least get through the front-door on these projects.
E-mail me at rancidgovtcheese@yahoo.com with the subject “Communication Help”. I have close to ten years of experience in corporate communications and frankly guys, I couldn’t do any worse.
