Four Nerds

It's been a while since I last did a movie review, so here goes:

Well, I rented Ultimate Avengers last night. I was never really into the Avengers comic. They always seemed to be a loose collection of a lot of b-grade superheroes, none of which were particularly interesting to me. Unlike the Justice League, which brought together the best and brightest of the DC line, the Avengers always struck me as a team of spare parts, a bunch of characters slapped together because no one seemed to know what to do with them. Sure, a lot of them have their own titles, such as Captain America, Iron Man and The Mighty Thor, but the rest are just a weird assortment of boring characters, such as the Wasp (who I always assumed was an arrogant white dude who drove a Volvo and wrote for the New Yorker), Henry Pym, Scarlet Witch, or the Vision.

Anyway, the Avengers always had a few of Marvel's heavy hitters, like Spider-Man or Wolverine, but the rest are, in my mind, kinda dumb. Does anyone remember Doorman? He can hail a cab faster than any man alive.

Back to the movie. Despite my general blasé feelings over the Avengers, I rented Ultimate Avengers the other day because I saw the commercials and thought the animation was pretty cool. I have to say, the animation was excellent, the best part of the show, and quite possibly the best animation that Marvel studios has ever put out.

For those who don't know, the Ultimate Avengers is based on the Marvel comic, the Ultimates, and is a re-imagining of the Avengers comic line. There are several differences to the classic Avengers, such as the fact that the Avengers are formed by the U.S. government and headed by General Nick Fury (of S.H.I.E.L.D), who now is modeled after Samuel L. Jackson.

MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD

Anyway, the story begins at the end of World War II. Berlin is about to fall, Hitler is dead, the European war is about to end. Captain America leads a suicide mission to destroy a Nazi superweapon (a nuclear missile), a last-ditch effort to turn the tide of the war. Cap manages to thwart the Nazi plan, but not before discovering that the Nazis developing the nuke are actually (gasp!) aliens!

Well, Captain America is, of course, frozen in ice for many decades and is found and thawed sometime in the 21st century. The aliens are still a threat and Nick Fury heads the U.S. Super-Soldier program, the same one that created Captain America. Dr. Bruce Banner heads up the scientific team, the Hulk having been tamed through medication. Apparently, the record keepers in the 1940s were sloppy, and the formula which created Captain America was lost to the ages. So, Banner and ex-wife Betty are trying to recreate the formula to fight the alien threat.

Suddenly, the aliens attack, after being quiet for 80 years or so. Since the super soldier formula isn't ready, Fury assembles a team of super heroes, the Avengers, to deal with the alien threat. It's a rag-tag team of mixed personalities, such as the Mighty Thor, dangerous if provoked, the Wasp, the Black Widow, Iron Man and Giant Man.

Their first mission proves to be a disaster. The aliens not only manage to destroy the base that houses all of the government's early warning satellites, but they also manage to download all of the data in S.H.I.E.L.D.'s computer network. Fury, who is, well, furious, scraps the team and tries to get Banner to start the human trials of the Super Soldier program on the 12 pre-selected human subjects. Unfortunately, Banner has only done formula research on his own blood in an attempt to control the Hulk.

The aliens attack again and the Avengers overcome their differences to thwart the alien invasion. Banner takes the super-soldier formula, which allows him to temporarily control the Hulk. Unfortunately, once he joins the fight and the adrenaline gets pumping, he loses control and the Avengers must stop him before he destroys the city.

As I said earlier, the animation is excellent, and it has some top-quality superhero action (it got a PG-13 for violence). People get killed, and there are several shots of the Hulk squishing aliens like insects. All very cool.

At a mere 71 minutes, though, the story is lacking. There are huge plot holes in the story. Why did the aliens feel the need to help the Nazis build a nuke (and only one), when they could have easily overtaken global forces in their space ships? Why did the aliens disappear after Cap destroyed their nuke? Why didn't anyone else know that Banner had lied about his research? Surely Betty or even a lab assistant might have noticed that the files were empty. Why would America's most top secret super-soldier research project lose the formula due to sloppy record-keeping? (It was not as if they were writing with hammers and chisels on stone, you know.) Why would you set up the whole alien invasion plot, only to have the final showdown with the Hulk? How can it be 80 years after World War II and yet Captain America's ex-girlfriend and army buddy are still alive? Did I miss something there?

The story was highly reminiscent of the Justice League pilot, in which a ragtag team of superheroes must overcome their personal differences and learn to work together in order to thwart an alien invasion. In fact, they're both lead by patriotic heroes with red and blue costumes who fight for "truth, justice and the American way." It doesn't surprise me, though, since the Avengers were Marvel's response to the success of the Justice League.

Anyway, overall I give it a C+. It's worth watching for the spectacular animation (and the sound isn't bad either, especially if you have surround sound), but check your brain at the door. You won't need it.