Friday, June 30, 2006
Bantha Poodoo?
You know, I've always been a great admirer of Star Wars fan films. There are thousands of them now, it seems. Armies of faithful fans armed with camcorders and Macintoshes have made their Jedi dreams come true. From the cheesiest home video to the ones that are damn near professional looking. The parodies, the comedies, and the serious endeavors. It amazes me the passion of the people who not only take the time, but the expense and hard work to make these films.
They're everywhere. You can find a few of them here.
That said, it's now time for me to tear them apart. I probably would never make a fan film, despite working for a video production firm and having access to all the fun toys. It's not something that I'm interested in doing. No, I prefer to sit on the sidelines and bitch and complain about things. It's my way.
All kidding aside, I would like to offer up a suggestion or two to those out there who are making these films.
1) Stop making references to places you heard someone mention in passing in one of the movies (or in a game, or a book, or whatever). Whenever you mention that bounty hunter you ran into on Ord Mantell or that time you were in a cantina in Mos Eisley, it sounds cheesy. A lot of the places the rebels went were jerkwater planets that no one's ever heard of. Dantooine is far too remote to be mentioned in your film. I can buy mentioning a place like Coruscant, but that's the capital of the galaxy. People have heard of it.
Instead, make up your own places. You have a whole galaxy out there to use. Why stick to the 10 or so planets mentioned in the movies? Case in point, when Phantom Menace came out, a lot of people hated the fact that they spent half the movie on Tatooine. We've been there in Star Wars and Jedi, why are we back? (Of course, now that we've seen all three prequels, it makes more sense.)
2) Like the places, stop mentioning people you heard about in the movies, unless your movie is specifically about that character. If you are a smuggler, don't make your character in the employ of Jabba the Hutt. Make up something new.
3) Stop using lines from the movies. You don't have to call people a "Nerf Herder," you don't have to refer to the rebels as "rebel scum." Stop referring to people as "Bantha Fodder." There are other phrases you can use.
I can accept using something that is in common usage, like "May the Force be with you" or "I feel a great disturbance in the Force." That makes sense to me. Heck, I'd even accept the occasional "I have a bad feeling about this."
4) Stop painting your Dark Jedi to look like Darth Maul. Again, come up with something new. Or, if you absolutely must have that Darth Maul character, then for Pete's sake, either shave his head or get a bald cap. He looks silly with that mullet.
6) Paintball gear is not a prop, unless your movie is about paintball. It's a good place to start, but for crying out loud, doctor it up so it doesn't look like a paintball mask.
Are we seeing a pattern here? You have an entire galaxy to explore. Hang on to the themes and ideals of Star Wars, but branch out. Invent something new, something we haven't seen. You guys have the passion and drive to make these films, to master the effects. Now, just take it one step further.
Some of these suggestions also apply to those who are involved in official expanded universe content. I just started playing "Knights of the Old Republic" again, and I swear, if one more person mentions "Bantha Poodoo," I'm gonna scream. (Outside of that, it's a great game.)
They're everywhere. You can find a few of them here.
That said, it's now time for me to tear them apart. I probably would never make a fan film, despite working for a video production firm and having access to all the fun toys. It's not something that I'm interested in doing. No, I prefer to sit on the sidelines and bitch and complain about things. It's my way.
All kidding aside, I would like to offer up a suggestion or two to those out there who are making these films.
1) Stop making references to places you heard someone mention in passing in one of the movies (or in a game, or a book, or whatever). Whenever you mention that bounty hunter you ran into on Ord Mantell or that time you were in a cantina in Mos Eisley, it sounds cheesy. A lot of the places the rebels went were jerkwater planets that no one's ever heard of. Dantooine is far too remote to be mentioned in your film. I can buy mentioning a place like Coruscant, but that's the capital of the galaxy. People have heard of it.
Instead, make up your own places. You have a whole galaxy out there to use. Why stick to the 10 or so planets mentioned in the movies? Case in point, when Phantom Menace came out, a lot of people hated the fact that they spent half the movie on Tatooine. We've been there in Star Wars and Jedi, why are we back? (Of course, now that we've seen all three prequels, it makes more sense.)
2) Like the places, stop mentioning people you heard about in the movies, unless your movie is specifically about that character. If you are a smuggler, don't make your character in the employ of Jabba the Hutt. Make up something new.
3) Stop using lines from the movies. You don't have to call people a "Nerf Herder," you don't have to refer to the rebels as "rebel scum." Stop referring to people as "Bantha Fodder." There are other phrases you can use.
I can accept using something that is in common usage, like "May the Force be with you" or "I feel a great disturbance in the Force." That makes sense to me. Heck, I'd even accept the occasional "I have a bad feeling about this."
4) Stop painting your Dark Jedi to look like Darth Maul. Again, come up with something new. Or, if you absolutely must have that Darth Maul character, then for Pete's sake, either shave his head or get a bald cap. He looks silly with that mullet.
6) Paintball gear is not a prop, unless your movie is about paintball. It's a good place to start, but for crying out loud, doctor it up so it doesn't look like a paintball mask.
Are we seeing a pattern here? You have an entire galaxy to explore. Hang on to the themes and ideals of Star Wars, but branch out. Invent something new, something we haven't seen. You guys have the passion and drive to make these films, to master the effects. Now, just take it one step further.
Some of these suggestions also apply to those who are involved in official expanded universe content. I just started playing "Knights of the Old Republic" again, and I swear, if one more person mentions "Bantha Poodoo," I'm gonna scream. (Outside of that, it's a great game.)
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