Four Nerds

Well, it seems my esteemed colleague Fogelmatrix missed my point. I wasn't saying, "Well could you do better?" I'm not asking you to come up with 180 million dollars and make a new movie. I don't want you to write a screenplay or anything like that.

What I am saying that it is easy to point the flaws in a movie we don't like. We all do that. It's easy to tear apart a movie. You were disappointed with this movie, so what would you have changed to make it better? An idea, that's all. It doesn't even have to be a complete sentence.

For example, you didn't like the fact that we find out Superman had a kid, or that Superman finds out. Fine, we take that revelation out. Okay, so now we have this kid who's just thrown in for no reason, other than to show that Lois has moved on. He's got no real purpose to the story now, so we take him out completely. Fine.

So now we have Lois and her boyfriend, who she dated when Superman left for five years. Without the kid, (and the possibility that he's the dad) the new guy doesn't stand a chance. He'd be out of the picture in five minutes. So, we can get rid of him.

So, now we just have Lois, five years later and nothing's changed. Superman comes back, and Lois is still there, a bit pissed, but hey, she's always been a bit pissed. Personally, I would have a lot harder a time with that than the idea that Superman had a kid. I would expect something to be different. Why not a Super-Bastard?

How about Lex's plot? Okay, you're okay with Lex as the bad guy, but think the idea of him using Kryptonite was cheesy. Fair enough. Ultimately he and Superman are going to have to face each other. Since Lex is only human, the final showdown will either be really quick, or Lex will have to come up with something to put him on an equal footing. In Superman 1, he had kryptonite. In Superman 2, he had three kryptonians to fight his fight for him. In the third one, we didn't have Lex, but the very human villain had a supercomputer to fight the boy in blue. In #4, Lex had a mutant nuclear clone of Superman.

So what could he use this time? A giant robot? Maybe, but frankly I'd be upset by Superman fighting a CGI robot. Personally, I'm fine with the kryptonite.

And don't hand me that overly sarcastic plot synopsis. It's always used "not as a valid point to an argument, but as a sarcastic..."This is SOOO cheesy" statement. It's a statement that relies on sarcastically overemphasizing certain parts of a story as to make it seem less believable. The CAPS Lock is essential at making your point. (Yes, I'm paraphrasing you.)

You can do that with any movie:

"Oh, she's REALLY going to get on that plane and not stay in Casablanca. RIGHT. GIVE ME A BREAK. Humphrey Bogart is so much cooler than the other guy."

"OOOH, he builds a world wide newspaper business, is one of the richest men in the world, and the one thing he wants on his death bed is a fucking sled? YEAH RIGHT. I'm so sure."

"Han Solo just happens to get back just in time to save Luke from getting shot by Vader. Please. Vader couldn't sense Han behind him with the Force!?! HOW CAN YOU BE SUPRISED WHEN YOU COMMAND THE FUCKING FORCE?"

As for the masses, I'm sorry dude, but there's no way in hell fanboys are the masses. Maybe your parents and mine didn't see Superman, but it wasn't just comic book geeks either. The movie made $52 million its opening weekend. Average about ten bucks a pop, that's about 5 million people watching the movie in three or four days. Do you honestly think it was all a bunch of dweebs like us? No, it was parents with their kids, teenagers, and yes, 18-35 year olds. But it wasn't just limited to them. Superman is arguably one of the most popular superheroes of all time. People from all walks of life wanted to see him.

But if you want a target demographic or a majority audience, then I'll help you out. Who do I think is going to this movie? Hmm... Let’s see... Could it be kids maybe? Kids who never saw the Christopher Reeve movies, Lois and Clark, Smallville, or the animated series. Kids who don't read the comics because they're still working on learning their ABCs. Kids who, with any luck, will ask their parents for those cool new Superman toys this Christmas, sleep on Superman bed sheets, watch that new Superman cartoon that will premiere on Saturday mornings this fall (I have no idea if they'll make such a show, but it's likely if the movie and toy sales do well.)

That's why revamping the franchise is important. Do you think the origins of Superman were a mystery in 1978? Yet they spent a significant portion of the movie explaining that. They were restarting the franchise back then, and bringing the current generation up to date. Same thing happened with this movie.

Thirty-somethings aren't the target market for anything other than baby formula and aluminum siding. Thirty-something comic book and Sci Fi geeks aren't the target market for anything found outside a comic book store. Sure, they'll want to appeal to the geeks, create a buzz at the latest comicon, and get a good word of mouth going. But the real money is in people with no responsibility. (Incidentally, the demographic that studios and networks generally like to target is 16-24, not 18-35. These are people that generally have disposable income and aren't tied down with things like car payments, mortgages and children. Sorry dude, you're a real grown up now.)

As for our parents' generation, Superman is almost 75 years old. They grew up on Superman just like we did. Instead of Christopher Reeve, it was George Reeves. Hell, he had been around for 13 years when my parents were born. You think the only people who grew up on Superman are the ones who watched Superfriends on Saturday mornings? You should have paid more attention to the people in the audience when you went to the movie.